Aug

31

Hedge Fund News: Friday, August 31

August 31, 2007 | Leave a Comment

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There is a lot going on today with the subprime situation, etc.  So, for the sake of brevity, here are some of the more compelling headlines today …

 And for a bit of fun, our friends at Fintag have some scoop on the Wall Street sequel, Money Never Sleeps

Gekko is back – as a hedge fund manager.

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Aug

30

Hedge Fund Salaries and “Fairness”

August 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment

Dealbook reports on a couple of new studies that whine about hedge fund manager salaries being out of whack with the rest of the workers in the United States:

Last year, the top 20 hedge-fund and private-equity-fund managers earned more in 10 minutes than United States workers made the entire year, according to a report released Wednesday by two advocacy groups.

HFL says: Notice how these “advocacy” groups like to single out the top 20 hedge funds.  What about the other 8500 hedge funds out there?  Guess they don’t count.

According to the study, that dwarfs the discrepancy between chief executive officers and workers: Corporate chieftains, on average, earn about 365 times the average pay.

The Institute for Policy Studies is a nonprofit research group that promotes alternatives to the “corporate-driven approach to globalization.” United for a Fair Economy, based in Boston, “raises awareness that concentrated wealth and power undermine the economy” and corrupts democracy, according to its Web site.

HFL says: Let me clarify this for you … The Institute of Policy Studies and United for a Fair Economy are nothing more than socialist front groups determined to destroy the capitalist system.  Groups like this like to hide behind euphamisms.  It is always about promoting “fairness” and “preventing the corruption of democracy.”  But really its about taking your liberty and controlling how successful you can be.  No wonder they are out to get hedgies.

The study’s authors said top hedge fund managers are making more in a fraction of an hour than a typical worker makes in a year. According to the study, hedge-fund chiefs average $12.6 million a week, or $210,700 an hour based on a 60-hour week. That’s $35,100 every 10 minutes, compared with $29,500 a year for the average worker.

HFL says: Horror, the horror.  None of these nitwits can make over $35K per year.  No wonder their pissed off.  They want diamonds like Percy Walker has — Oh, but that would mean having to go out and earn it!  Nevermind.

Sarah Anderson, a director at the Institute for Policy Studies, supports a Congressional move to close the loophole allowing private investment managers to pay lower tax rates than ordinary Americans.

HFL says: Of course she does … because she’s a socialist.

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Aug

29

Psycho Pile-Drives Investment Banker

August 29, 2007 | 1 Comment

Truly, as Percy Walker points out, it is open season on Wall Street types.  It seems that they might not be safe to walk the streets - no less attend spin classes.  Now granted, the victimized investment banker, Stu Sugarman …

“… grunted a lot, admittedly. He war-whooped. He hollered, “Great song!” and “You go, girl,” and he probably was the noisiest guy in the spin class,” according to the New York Post article.

You go, girl? [Originally, it was reported that he was a hedge fund manager — THANK THE GODS he is not.  It might also explain the weird grunting and shouting] This is how it all went down according to the Post:

“First, the furious broker demanded the hedge-fund manager please stop making so much noise. “Then it escalates to ‘Shut up!’ and “Shut the f— up!”

The broker complained to the instructor, who “basically shrugs,” Davis said.

The broker then allegedly issued the final ultimatum - “If you don’t shut the f— up, I’m getting off my bike.” The hedge-fund manager said: “Stop being a baby.”

Finally, the ballistic broker dismounts and “charges my client’s bike like Leonard Marshall of the New York Giants hitting a practice sled,” Davis said.

The broker tipped the hedge-fund manager and his bike into the wall, smashing a hole in the sheetrock, Davis said. “Then he smashes him back onto the ground, with the bike falling on top of him.”

Sugarman still has no feeling in his left side. He may need more surgery.

Carter’s lawyer, Dan Ollen, called Sugarman “a piece of work.”

“The first thing he does after the incident is hop on his bike and work out another 40 minutes,” he said. “The second thing he does is hire a personal-injury lawyer and the third thing he does is alert the media.

‘Who’s kidding who?’ “

You can’t make this stuff up!   A bitch slap would probably have been sufficient.

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