The Key to Happiness (huffingtonpost)
On my list of things to do before I die, I’ve already done a lot. I’ve climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. I’ve climbed down Mt. Kilimanjaro. I’ve been slathered in bug-juice by a Zulu shaman. I’ve experienced the miracle of birth, both human (my children) and otter (on The Discovery Channel). But even as I experienced these things, a little voice in the back of my head was telling me that I was missing out on something deeper, something more rewarding. A little voice that said: Instead of doing this, you could be starting your own hedge fund.
I listened to that little voice, and I’ve never looked back. I’d always hated jobs where I was just punching the clock, where my creativity was in shackles. Plus, I’d always hated paying taxes. Owning a hedge fund has changed all that. My workdays, which used to stretch out before me like a desert of meaninglessness and ennui, now brim with fulfillment and joy. As a hedge fund owner, I am truly, insanely happy, from the moment I wake up to the moment my head hits my 1200 thread-count pillow in an absinthe-drenched haze. And as for the other things I wanted to do before I die, I pay other people to do them for me now.
What do you need to start your own hedge fund? Just three things:
1) a telephone
2) a desk
3) 10 billion dollars
I assume you can all catch the drift here? Borowitz is an idiot. What do you think?